Happy 4th Birthday Joa

This morning dear Joa woke up a four year old. He woke up to the sun streaming in through the window and the Birthday table set and waiting for him.

 We lit the Birthday ring and sang Happy Birthday to him,

 Then he opened his presents.

his first real bike

 After we had breakfast and dropped Rebe and Benny to school for their school tour Joa and I spent a lovely morning together, just the two of us.

 We went to the beach and played and practiced cycling.

 I felt so proud of this wee boy. He is such a special man, so full of life and character. Nothing is scary for him, nothing too much of a challenge. He taught himself to swim unaided a few weeks ago, he can now also ride a bike.

 He is also 100% pure nuts and often says things so funny I have tears of laughter streaming down my face. Last week for example he was dancing in the garden to imaginary music. I told him to do something (I can't remember now what it was) but he just said 'I can't hear you, the music is too loud!' Most of the time he lives his life as a very sweet, carefree and cheeky little dog called Johnny Pumpkin and narrates what he is doing in the third person, saying things like, 'Oh Johnny Pumpkin, him like that, him does!'.

Anyway, after lunch Joa and I went to meet Rebe and Benny from the bus. They were hot and tired but had had the most wonderful school trip. We popped home to pick up the Birthday cake and then headed into town to the pub where Garry works. We decided to have dinner and do the cake there as a treat for Joa (and for me) and so that Garry wouldn't miss out on the celebrations.

We got there to find Garry had reserved us a table and decorated all around with balloons and streamers.

While we waited for our meal we played a great game that Rebe had gotten from Bubs as an 'unbirthday present'.

 We had a scrummy dinner and then we lit the candles on Joa's cake (thank goodness he decided he wanted a dog cake up: until last week he had his heart set on a Christmas tree cake!)

 It was such a lovely day and I think he felt special and celebrated. When I was tucking him in just now I asked him what he liked best about his Birthday and he said 'Having a good time!'

Happy Birthday sweet boy xxx

from the heart

Every doll I make is special. I love each and every one of them. I get so much pleasure imagining them with their special little people, sharing adventures and giving comfort and joy. But sometimes I get the chance to work on an extra special project and this doll is one of them.

She is made for a very brave, very strong little girl called Zoe. Her mama and I have been in contact off and on through my Under Rainbows facebook page for a few years. In March she contacted me to make an offer for the pay-what-you-can doll that I was selling at the time, this is what she wrote: 

We have spoken a few times over the past few years. If you remember, my daughter was born with half of a heart. She faces her final planned open heart surgery this spring/early summer at the age of 3. I have wanted to get her one of your dolls for a long time, but being a stay at home mom and medical costs, we just haven't been able to afford one. We would love the chance to get this sweet doll for her Easter basket. I know she would be so, so loved.

I was so touched by her story and by her daughter's amazing journey that I offered to make a special doll for Zoe for the price that they could afford. A doll that will go into hospital with Zoe at the time of her surgeries and be her companion to cheer her up and give her hugs.

 As we were emailing back and forth about the doll I was really struck by how much Zoe's mama loves her. Her love is fierce and strong, supportive and courageous and I really wanted the doll to carry some of this mother-love in her. So I asked Jenn to send me something, perhaps a bead or a little felt heart. I thought she could whisper her love, her hopes and dreams for Zoe into it and I would sew it inside the doll, where her heart is.

This is what she found and sent to me from the States:

So perfect, a smooth angelite heart 'one of the premier healing stones'. She also sent a very sweet card thanking me from the bottom of their 'one and half hearts' and a bracelet to wear to show my support for Zoe.

 I wrapped the stone heart in some sheep's wool

 (as you can see, the whole time I was making this doll I wore the bracelet, I really wanted my focus to be on this doll and Zoe, to fill it with healing thoughts, and wishes and love and the bracelet helped to remind me of that).

 I placed the heart wrapped in wool into the neck part of the doll and sewed it up.

 The heart would then be firmly positioned in the centre of the chest.
 I really love the idea of using a healing stone in the doll. The warmth from Zoe's body heat will be conducted through the wool as she holds her, gently warming the stone and releasing it's wonderful healing powers and all of that special love that Jenn whispered into the stone.
I made the doll to look like Zoe, matching her hair and eye colour. I also embroidered a scar up the centre of her chest between her rib cage, a scar to match the one little Zoe has.

 I dressed her up, as Jenn suggested, as a little princess with a sweet frock and bloomers and a little felt crown decorated with a heart of course. I also made her a wee pair of organic cotton pyjamas to wear in hospital.

Making this doll was so special and being a tiny little part of Zoe's journey is such an honor! If you were touched by this story and would like to read more about little Zoe, her mama has a blog here and there are also a couple charities that you can donate to that have been a support to Zoe, Jenn and her partner:
www.sisters-by-heart.org
www.linked-by-heart.org
But if you do nothing else then hold little Zoe and her family in your heart in July when she will having her surgeries
<3 p="">

Buddies ~ at the beach

**In September 2011 6 families got together and started Buddies Home School. Each week we meet in each other's home and follow a simple rhythm: movement and music, craft/ baking, snack time, free play and story time. Each part of the session is led by a different family. We are sharing this week's session with you here...**

What a lovely time we had this morning. As the weather was looking good we decided to meet on the beach today.

 Joa was stripped off and running in the shallow pools before I even managed to get down the steps.

 I brought along a simple scavenger hunt for the kids. 4 buckets, each with a simple picture of what was to be found and put in it: shells, stones, seaweed and crabs.

 But we we were good hunters we found much more than that, a tiny star fish, a live clam, a mermaids purse and a duck shaped shell,

 so little L emptied out the crab bucket and made a beautiful 'aquarium' filled with all of our treasures.

 J found a single flipper washed up among the seaweed and spent his time on the beach flapping backwards and forwards across the sand and through the puddles (and only fell in once!).

 We found caves too but decided that we had better come back with a torch some other time as they were a bit dark.

Of course there was also a fair amount of digging and picnicking.

What a lovely way to spend the morning.
Next week is going to be our last Buddies session. We are planning a party, 2 of the boys have their 4th Birthdays next week, it will also be our last meeting of this term and therefore the last meeting that Joa and I will attend (sob sob).

summer beginning

 Summer is beginning here. The weather is beautiful, the sky clear and the sun warming. But as is my pattern of the last years, my energy is low. I am finding myself tired, fed up with the never ending school runs and packed lunches. Irritable about having to get everyone in bed at a decent time and up and out of bed at an equally decent time. I find myself craving time, long endless days of time to just be. Thank goodness it is just around the corner. A few more weeks of school, in that time both of the boys' Birthdays and then we're free. For weeks. I can hardly wait!

Rebe's Apple Seed Ceremony

Last Saturday, the 31st of May, Rebe's school class had their first holy communion. 

Rebe and Benny attend a catholic primary school (as do most children in Ireland) so the first holy communion is a large feature of the school year for Rebe's age group. 

We are not religious so I gave Rebe the option of what she wanted to do, she could either join in the preparations and celebration at school, or she could opt out and we could do something different.

 She decided to participate with the class to an extent; learning the songs and tin whistle tunes and doing arts and crafts related to the communion, but she also asked if she could do something different to the communion on the day. 

the necklace that Garry and I gave her

This is when I came up with the idea of an Apple Seed Ceremony. I was inspired by a book I read a few years ago called The Buddha, Geoff and Me. In it there was a passage about an acorn and how an acorn already has everything in it it needs to become an oak tree.

 I love this idea: that children are already whole. They already have everything they need within them to be the grown up they are destined to be. I wanted to celebrate and teach that to the kids, that there is nothing lacking in them and that they are already whole, complete and beautiful beings. I decided to use an apple seed as our symbol rather than an acorn as I felt it was more accessible to the kids (plus I could make apple cake!).

We started our preparations a few weeks ago. Garry and I went out to a lovely local nursery and bought Rebe a little apple tree that we hid in our neighbours garden until the day. I asked Rebe to invite a handful of people that she felt were important to her in terms of support and guidance. We wanted to keep it easy and simple so the numbers invited were very small, but I did want Rebe to know how much love and support there is for her all over the world so I asked our friends and family, far and wide, to email me a little wish for Rebe that would be written on the back of some paper apples that we would hang from the tree on the day of the ceremony. 

My mum flew over the day before and we sat together in the evening stringing green cotton onto the apple wishes (and drinking wine). She had brought with her a special dress (yes I know a dress! Rebe actually wanted to wear a dress!!!) that Rebe had asked her to make for her to wear on the day.

The following morning we placed the tree in the middle of the back garden under a brilliant blue sky. We tied balloons to the top and strung a line of cotton to each side of the garden from which to hang the apple wishes.

Then we prepared the feast,

a little orchard cake

Kerry apple cake

Garry arranged a semi circle of chairs around the apple tree and at midday the ceremony began.

I started it by reading out this letter I had written to Rebe...

Dear Rebe

We have gathered here together today to acknowledge and celebrate you as a person.

We have watched you grow from a baby to a toddler, from a toddler to a little girl and from a little girl to the person you are today.

And we will watch you grow into a young woman, through school and jobs and adventures and life.

We may get to watch you fall in love and become a mother yourself, a grandmother even.

But through all of that growth, through all of those changes you will always be you. That pure and beautiful being that is you.

Everything that you need to know about life, how to find and follow your path is already within you. The same way that an apple seed has everything within it that it needs to become an apple tree and bare fruit of it's own.

But for an apple to seed to grow into a tree it needs rich soil, air, rain and sunshine. And this is what we must be for you. We, your family, friends and community are your soil, air, rain and sunshine.

We must give you a place to call home. Somewhere to put down your roots. We must give you all of the strength and stability that we can.

We must give you space to grow, to stretch your branches and unfurl your leaves. We must give you the space to become the unique and beautiful self that you are and are destined to be.

We must water you with nourishment, feed you with our knowledge and guidance.

And like the sun we will shine our love on you, every single day of your life.

These are the conditions that we promise to give you and we are so excited and honored to watch you, my darling Rebe, grow and stretch and blossom and bare fruit.

After reading that I asked the people there to hang their wishes for Rebe on the tree,

everyone had also brought lovely, thoughtful little gifts for Rebe for which she was so grateful and delighted by.

commissioned for Rebe by Bubs and Man

To finish the ceremony I read a version of 'One Seed' a little children's story by Rosemary Phillips that closes with these lines...

'So next time you are seeking shade and find it under a tree just remember, it took one brave seed to start to grow when all the other seeds said it was impossible and couldn't be done... one seed that's all!' 

Then we had the feast...

It was such a lovely day and I really loved having a celebration of Rebe, not because of anything, just a celebration of her. I hope it made her feel as special as she deserves to feel, I hope she could feel the love we all have for her. I was certainly delighted to have an opportunity to show her how special and loved she is.

three generations

Garry, Rebe, Joa and I

After all of our guests left and after the kids had a play on the beach I took Rebe down to the hotel that evening to join in the celebrations of some of her class mates who had made their first communion. That was lovely too, time to sit and chat with friends and watch Rebe skipping around, a huge beaming smile on her face.
It was a very happy day.