Sunday, October 21, 2012

Gratitude

This week has been a very difficult one for me.
 I have felt completely exhausted and often at sea: adrift and far from that place I call 'home'.  
I have also experienced a lot of sadness this week. During the first few days of the week I had tried to push this feeling down, to swallow it, certainly not to feel it. But on Thursday I went to a reiki healing session, a gift from a dear friend of mine, and it was the simple sentence' What do you feel, in your heart?' that allowed me to touch in and to experience (probably for the first time since I separated from Andy) the sadness that was within me. I spent the rest of the that day and Friday trying to find the time to just feel sad, to allow myself a wee cry, to do nothing, to listen to a hear the pain in my heart. By Saturday night I finally found a pocket of time, I sat quietly and tuned into my sadness, I felt it and allowed myself to cry some of it out. I wrote some poems and I drew a few pictures and I called a very close friend. 
I was sad....
and now that feeling has passed. I now feel a lightness and a clarity that I lacked all week. 

The week was also hard in other ways, I'm struggling with Rebe's behavior right now and I am getting no down time, no relaxation time, but there have been things that have supported me through the week, that made me laugh and smile and feel heard and so I am grateful....

I am grateful for my friends and family who are there for me at the end of the phone/ computer at playgroup.... Who listened to me, who heard me, who held my hand and walked with me...

I'm grateful to whoever it was who bought me these shoes:
 I had been admiring them on etsy and out of the blue they arrived addressed to Joa and oh how they make me laugh (Joa is not quite so amused though lol)
 I'm grateful for Saturday morning play:
 this is a morning birthday celebration held for one of our goldfish :-)

I'm grateful for gorgeous charity shop finds:

 I am grateful for this little girl (even when she drives me nuts!):
 I am grateful for this yoga sequence
I am grateful for this song

I am grateful for this life itself...
and now I hope that the coming week will be easier and filled with joy and laughter and a lot less stress!

7 comments:

  1. Love, love, love to you, precious one. xxx

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  2. And Laura I am grateful for you. Thanks for sharing.

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  3. Beautiful mugs! You have so many precious things to be grateful for. :)

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  4. Dear beautiful friend, I am so sorry for the sadness you have felt- and I hate being so far away from you! You are so strong, and I am always so impressed with you and how you are able to tune into yourself so well- I aspire to be like that!
    To go through a gratitude list is a good thing- this is what I do too at low points and it is so helpful. You do have much to be grateful for!
    Love to you, Mel
    (Keep an eye out in the mail!)

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    1. Dearest Mel, you've been in my thoughts so often and I keep hoping to find time to sit and write you a proper email, but the time just seems to get away from me every day. It was a good thing to feel that sadness and let it pass, I feel much freer for having done so. Very excited about my shawl :-) love to youx x

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