honestly

In all honesty the last few days have been really difficult for me. I have had a really hard time emotionally. I have raged, shouted, screamed, cried. It's been horrible for everyone and very over whelming. Yesterday, the only nice thing we did was make snail pizzas (and I probably shouted through that too). I have a sneaking suspicion that it's hormones; that my body is getting ready to menstruate again. I have always struggled with pms and each month I forget that I do and wonder why I feel so terrible. After nearly 2 years 'off', thanks to pregnancy and breastfeeding, it's returning to me and I must re-find all my coping mechanisms (baths, chocolate, early bedtimes and bach flower remedies).

I have also been between crafting projects. This is not good for me- I like to be making ALL the time. I finished this doll about a week ago... I really enjoyed making him and he's now in the shop, but I haven't been able to decide what to make next. I'm thinking of another baby doll and I have started on revising my pattern some.

I also have had nothing on the needles for a couple days (well a day and half to be exact but that's like years in my book!).

I finished these rainbow longies for Joa and was left scratching my head as to what to make next. I thought about socks for autumn and winter, play food for the boys' birthdays. I decided on a cardi for Joa for Autumn. I will post some more about that later. Once decided I looked through my enormous stash, picked some yarn and a pattern and I have cast on and feel much better :-)

Aside from crafting my other therapy today has been to get out and stay out of the house.

Andy took us all to the pirate beach early this morning. It was beautiful and we had it to ourselves. The kids played while I sat, with Joa napping on my back in the sling, knitting with my face to the sun and the noise of the waves soothing my jagged nerves.

It being a pirate beach Rebe is always on the look out for treasure...and treasure she found!

An actual real, working watch! It was near some rock pools with a pair of socks. I imagine it was left there by a rock-pool-explorer yesterday. But Rebe thinks that it was dropped overboard from a boat and was washed ashore. Maybe she's right :-) What a turnupstuffer Pippi would be proud!

Home again and after lunch I snatched 10 mins to make Rebe this sunhat. Again it made me feel better to have achieved this. It really was a quick fix (you could literally make this in 10 mins) and I shall post a tutorial soon.

Poor old Joa is teething again and as a result is very clingy. When he's like this he wants to be held and carried all the time. I find it easier to strap him to my back and get moving than try to sit with him anywhere. So we headed back out again to hide our wish eggs in the woods.

I'm so glad we did. Oh, it was just beautiful. Awash with blue and with wild garlic scenting the air.

Benny has adopted the Peter Pan costume

Rebe hiding one for our eggs

freedom

sun steaming through the trees


We went a different way from normal and we 'got lost'. It was fun to explore and not know where we were. Rebe was delighted and was coming up with all sorts of survival strategies should we not find our way home. She said that if we had to sleep out there she was going to use Joa as her special and Benny could use me :-) Luckily we found our way out and down to the beach.

The sea washing the last of my tension away on the walk home (my hands full of discarded clothes and boots).

I'm starting to feel better now and I will have an early night and take it easy tomorrow and I hope to be more centred.

x